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The Importance of Storytelling at Passover

03/30/2023 11:23:49 AM

Mar30

by Rabbi Wexler

The holiday of Passover has always been special to me.  Not because my Hebrew name is Pesah Barukh, but rather because of the special childhood memories that I have of celebrating the holiday with my family.  It is these memories and feelings of gratitude and love for family and tradition that I hope to recreate now, each year, for my children.  Passover is the ultimate family holiday; a very special time of the year.  However, for those who have recently lost a loved or for those struggling with illness, worry, or sadness, Passover can be a particularly challenging time.  For these reasons, I hope you will join me tonight at our TBS Passover Healing Service at 7PM on Zoom

Passover provides cherished time with family, and it is also the official time of the Jewish year when one generation passes down personal stories to the next. In the original narrative of the holiday, we are taught that parents should turn to their children and speak in elaborate detail about the Israelites’ harrowing escape from slavery and chaos in Egypt not as something that happened long ago, but in deliberate first-person terms. In Hebrew the phrase that we are instructed to use is “b’tzaytee mimitzrayim” – when I left Egypt (Exodus 13:8). 
   
Marshall Duke and Robyn Fivush, two professors at Emory University, have spent the last two plus decades studying storytelling and the power it holds within family systems. Duke writes: “Through family stories children develop a sense of what we call the multi-generational self, and the personal strength and moral guidance that comes with that. When something challenging happens, they can call on that expanded sense of self to pull through.” Fivush meanwhile, points out that it is not the “specific facts” that are important to impart upon the next generation but rather “it is the process of families sharing stories about their lives that are important.” 

Together, Duke and Fivush are emphatic that “research shows that children who know a lot about their family tend to be more resilient: higher levels of self-esteem, more self-control, better family functioning, lower levels of anxiety, fewer behavioral problems, and better chances for good outcomes when faced with challenges.” 

In the Passover seder, we vacillate between telling the story of “I” and the story of “We.” We say “Hotzatee” I was brought out, but we also say “Avadeem Hayinu” – we were slaves. One other element of the “multi-generational self” concept is that when the self feels at home in a diverse family, a family that has life-experience and wisdom based on a narrative of ups and downs, a story of “we” emerges. 
 
This Passover, may we be blessed to be surrounded by family and friends. May we find comfort in the support of community. And finally, may we use the holiday as an opportunity to tell our stories.  May our stories of “I” become stories of “we,” and may this lead us to a deeper appreciation and sense of gratitude for our sense of multi-generational self.

Wishing everyone a Shabbat Shalom and a Hag Pesah Sameah - a happy and meaningful Passover.

Wed, January 8 2025 8 Tevet 5785